3 Years

Molly Grace, you are 3 years old! I just can't believe it! You are the best little thing to ever come into our lives. We love you to the moon and back, forever and ever. You are our little monkey and have brought so much joy and laughter to our home. We prayed and yearned for you for 5 years...you were worth every second of the wait, worth each and every month of disappointment, worth every pill, every bloodwork, every IUI, every tear...you were worth it all and so much more! There's never a night that I don't rock you and thank God for you. I hope you know deep in your heart, every day, how much you are loved and how much you are wanted.

I am so very proud of the little girl you are becoming. You have changed right before my eyes into a beautiful little girl - inside and out. My favorite thing about you is your compassion. You have such a loving heart. You care if someone is sick, you care if someone is hurt or sad. The worst punishment for you is knowing that you have made us sad. I hope you carry this trait with you your entire life. I hope you use your compassionate heart to make a huge difference in the world. I know you will, and I know you will do great things.

Have I ever mentioned how funny you are? You keep us laughing. You say and do some of the funniest things. Your facial expressions and hand gestures crack me up on a daily basis.

You are the smartest little girl I've ever met! No surprise there, though! You are so creative and a have the best vocabulary. You think of so many ideas and you're so fun to have a conversations with now. You talk our ears off!

Sometimes, little girl, you like to rule the roost! You like to keep us in line and tell us what needs to be done. If Daddy or I forget to pick something up or put something away, you let us know about it!

You love all things Princess right now. Your favorite today is Sleeping Beauty, but your all time favorite is Little Mermaid. She was your first favorite.

Your favorite thing to play right now is play-doh. If keeps you busy for the longest time. You make us lots of cookies and cakes.

You still love to be rocked before bed...I hope you always do. I'll be glad to still be rocking you at 16! Ha! You will not go to sleep without hearing 3 songs and they have to be in the right order: Twinkle Twinkle, Bye-O Bye-O Molly, and Jesus Loves Me. Then we have to pray. Sometimes you pray and sometimes you make me. You have to have your white blankie, a sparkly piece of elastic you made Granny buy at Walmart, all your animals, a book under your pillow and now the new Cinderella blanket Granny got you for Christmas. Since your tonsils came out, you sleep all night in your own bed and don't even fight us. It's wonderful!

This year you have grown and changed so much. It just amazes me. You want to do everything for yourself, you're so independent. You're pretty stubborn and headstrong. You like things your way - not sure where you get that! You're a pretty amazing negotiator! You will make deals and try to get your way one way or another!

You love to check our ears and usually say "nope, no tubes"! Bless your little heart, you've been through a lot with your stinkin' ears.

Your favorite thing you did this year was the zoo. You talk about the zoo all the time. My favorite memory from this year was our trip to St. Louis. You, me and Daddy had 4 straight days together doing fun stuff!

You love books...which makes your momma very happy! You love to be read to, but you also like to just sit and look at a book.

You love watching movies. I always swore my child wouldn't watch tv, but you love it so much and you're still really active, so it's OK!

You ask for a brother or sister several times a week. I don't think you really know what you're asking for, though! You love babies when we see them in public.

Daddy said to add that you are very sassy. And that you are! You just have a sassy walk and talk! I love it. I pray that you are always a little sassy!

Molly Grace, I love you so very much. You are the little girl I always dreamed of. I wouldn't change a single thing about you or a single moment we've had together. Happy Birthday sweet girl.

Happy Birthday

I have a 3 year old!! I don't know how it happened, but it happened...I don't have a baby anymore. I don't even have a toddler. I have a little girl!

I'm a day late with my post, but who has time on Birthday Fun Day to stop and blog?! Ha! We had a busy day and all had a blast. It's so fun to spend time just our little family and celebrating our little girl.

We started off the day with a cupcake breakfast. When it's your birthday and you're a special little girl, you can eat whatever you want for breakfast! So we started off with singing, candles and cupcakes.

What can top a cupcake breakfast? Only 1 thing...a Chuck E. Cheese lunch! My child loves Chuck E. Cheese!! Well, not the actual character of CEC...she hates him! She loves the games, tokens, tickets and prizes! We played for a couple hours, got our picture made, and ate some fairly yummy pizza!

The only logical stop after Chuck E. Cheese is Build-A-Bear. We went last year on her bday and she built "Fluffy". I knew which animal she was going to pick as soon as I saw it...a horse! Sure enough, as soon as she saw it, that's what she wanted and there was no changing her mind! She was still pretty painfully shy this year, but definitely more into it than last year. She pushed the pedal by herself to fill him up and even got the heart and put it in the horse herself. I was pretty proud of her! She gave the horse a bath, we made her a birth certificate and MG officially named her horse "Alice" from Alice and Wonderland (her new obsession).

She played on the playground, got a cookie then took a nap!

MG is such a sweet child! She's thankful for every present, instead of ripping one present after another open, she opens one and really plays with it for awhile. We always get a thank you and a smile. I hope she's always so grateful and appreciative.

Molly Grace and "Alice" resting from our big day!

This is the night it all began...3 years ago

It all began 3 years ago on this night. I was 33 weeks pregnant with the baby I had prayed and prayed for. My mom and I spent the day shopping (I'm sure we bought way too many pink outfits, blankets and bows!). I was horribly uncomfortable all day, but just assumed it was normal pregnancy stuff. Later, the whole family sat at Pizza Inn laughing and talking - you know, normal family dinner stuff! Had this not been my first pregnancy, I would have known what was going on. Or had I read past the 33 weeks point in my "What to Expect..." book! But, it wasn't and I didn't!

I remember thinking that a hot bath would fix it all. I can still vividly remember sitting awkwardly in the tub, looking at my belly sticking out of the water and thinking what a miracle was going on in my body! What a blessing! Knowing now how that evening would end, I'm so glad I took the time to really soak in being pregnant. If we're being totally honest, it's probably the last time I will ever have a baby belly to see. So I'm glad that moment, that memory and that image is engrained in my head. I also should add that it's a miracle that I decided to shave my legs that night! HA!

Fresh out of the tub, smelling like my new Victoria Secret lotion I had treated myself to, and snug in my jammies, I sat at the computer making my list of things I needed to register for.

I can see it in my mind like it happened this morning. I know exactly what happened. I know exactly what Jamey and I said to each other. I haven't forgotten a think about this night, 3 years ago. I may not remember what I'm at Walmart to pick up, but I remember every sound, word and action from that night.

Anyway...as I'm sitting and registering for baby stuff, I experienced the scariest (and weirdest) feeling of my life. My water broke. It was so strange because in my head, I knew exactly what was happening. But it was so unexpected and out of the "plan" that it really couldn't sink in. I ran (yes, really ran!) into the living room and told Jamey what happened. We just stood there staring at each other. I remember it being such a surreal moment. Neither of us was panicked yet, but we shared this moment, this look that spoke a thousand words at once. Our eyes and our hearts were communicating what our brains and our mouths just couldn't. I don't know who finally broke the stare and the silence. But somehow Jamey ended up with the phone to call my Dr. I almost made him hang up because I was afraid maybe I had just peed on myself. My oh-so-practical husband quickly snapped me out of it by telling me there was no way I could have peed that much! Yep! That's the words of comfort he said! Ha!

So our journey began (or really just continued in a huge, scary way). I've typed this story before - I'm sure this is the 3rd time! But we ended up at our local hospital. They confirmed that I was, in fact, in labor. I was dilated to a 2. There was no way to stop my labor and it was best if I went to Little Rock or Memphis where there was a higher level NICU...just in case. The 3 words I did not want to hear.

Never in my life have I been so scared, yet peaceful and excited. I was scared of what was going to happen and how my life was changing. But at the same time, I just had this peace. This overwhelming calmness. I knew that my God was holding me. He had already written this chapter of my story, already walked it, and it would be OK. I just knew it!

I do remember the worst part was when the sweet nurse told me that my Dr. was probably going to send me somewhere else. I lost it at that point. My Dr. wasn't there yet and neither was any of my family. And I totally fell apart. I will never forget her, though. She took my hand and squeezed. She told me it was going to be fine. That girls are strong. Then she looked me in the eyes and told that there was absolutely nothing I could've done to cause this to happen. And that's what I needed to hear. I needed to know that my baby wasn't in danger because of something I had done.

So...that's how the best 3 years of my life began.

The most ironic thing is that at this moment - as I'm typing and as it was all happening 3 years ago - there's not a pregnant women in the bathtub...there's a very strong, stubborn, smart, sassy, beautiful, sweet, compassionate 3 year old girl playing and splashing and filling our house with the sounds of family.

Scariest night of my life? Yes! Would I do it again? Absolutely, 100 times over!

So tomorrow we will celebrate. We will celebrate the little miracle that took us by surprise and rocked our worlds from day 1!

Girls Day

I am loving my time off with MG. Things have been so hectic getting ready for Christmas then having Christmases that we haven't really had time for "girl time" together. Today was our day, though! I have to say, I love having a little girl. She's always been fun and awesome and amazing, but the older she gets the more fun she is just to hang out with. She's not a baby I take with me anymore, she's a little person I can have a conversation with. I love it. And in the same breath I hate it that she's not my baby anymore! But that's a different post! Ha!

We spent the morning laying around in bed being lazy and watching Peter Pan. Then we got out for a little bit. Our first stop...looking for bday cakes! She was so excited and knew exactly what she wanted (totally not practical, but she knew what she wanted!). I think she misunderstood a little, though, because she was NOT a happy camper when we left without a cake! In her little mind, we were there to bring a cake home with us right then! A little bribery goes a long way in parenting, though, and she was a happy camper by the time we got to the car!

Stop #2 was a lunch date, just me and her. We pick up food and eat at home together all the time, but she and I have very rarely gone out to eat just the 2 of us. Until recently that just wasn't realistic! It was so nice, though. We went to Subway. She told me exactly what she wanted then sat at the table by me like the big girl she is and we had a really nice lunch.

Stop #3 was a little pampering. MG was long over due for a haircut! She was such a big girl! Granted, I did bribe her with the promise of a really big sucker if she was good, but that's not the point! Ha! She sat up in that chair, let Ms. Brandi put the cape on her and got her little haircut. Not a single tear or whine. She very sweetly asked if I would hold her hand, so I did. I stood beside the chair and we held hands while she got a haircut. That's such a simple little pleasure!

Stop #4 was home for a much needed nap! Since it was our day, I rocked her an extra long time! She fell right asleep, but I just kept rocking and enjoying holding her in my arms. I think I must have rocked for about 45 minutes! Seeing what a big girl she was all day just made me want to hold her a little tighter a little longer!

Once Jamey got home our Girls Day turned into Family Time...the only thing that's just as much fun as Girl Time!

We went to my favorite restaurant, Fuji! Jamey and MG had never been there. My sister and family met us there, too. They cook your food right in front of you. MG was a little freaked out by the huge flames at first, but she loved the food as much as I do! We told them it was her bday so they sang and brought her a cupcake!

We left there and went to Walmart to get a few things. We let her spend her gift card from Grandma while we were there. She picked out the Princess Candyland game - I totally wanted her to have that!! I was really excited that she wanted it too! Reason #3,254 it's fun to have a girl...you get to play girly versions of popular games! Ha!

No fun day (or any day for MG) is complete without a HOT bath, so that's where she went first when we got home. Then we played a fun game of Candyland, watched Angelina Ballerina and rocked some more.

The BEST part of the day??? As we were rocking, she sat up and said "Momma, let's pray". Brought me to tears! I may make mistakes, but the fact that my child thinks to pray tells me that I am doing something right. She says the sweetest prayers! She stopped in the middle and said "what comes now?". Ha! I just love that little girl! I'm so thankful for this time with her.

Christmas 2012

Christmas Day didn't turn out at all like we planned, but sometimes it's the unplanned that makes the best memories...

MG slept in this morning (well, 8:30!) and still had to wake us up. She came into our bedroom. I asked her if she was ready to go look at her toys from Santa and she wasn't too excited. I asked, and she told me she had already looked at her toys! Ha! Little stink! It took her awhile to get woken up, but she never did get too thrilled about her gifts. After breakfast, as we were getting ready to head out, I found out why she was upset. We've been telling her for weeks not that Santa was coming to her house on Christmas Eve. She was mad because she really thought he was coming to her house to visit and play! I had one ticked off little girl because he came, brought presents and left without her getting to see him! That's how our morning went!

Here's a mad MG!

Jamey and I started dating in November 11 years ago. That first Christmas we were together we spent Christmas Day at his parents' house. And we have spent every single Christmas Day there ever since...until this year. They had been calling for a winter storm for a week or so before Christmas. This morning it turned into a Blizzard Warning...unheard of around here! We got ready, though, loaded up the car and headed that way. We only got about 15-20 minutes down the highway before we decided that it just wasn't worth the risk of getting stuck or hitting icy roads. So we turned around and came home. We spent the entire Christmas Day in our jammies, at home, playing with toys and waiting for the snow to fall!

Packed and ready to head to Mamaw's

We were all pretty bummed not to get to be at the annual family Christmas. MG was pretty upset, too. When we turned around, she asked where we were going. When I told her "home", she started crying because she wanted to go to Mamaw and Papaw's house. Broke my heart! But she got over it pretty quickly and had a great day at home.

Honestly, I think unplanned, unscheduled days at home are the best. We had tea parties, played playdoh, layed in bed watching a movie, played on her new LeapPad, made the train track she got, she took 2 hot baths with her new toys and played with Daisy. Today was a day of memories. As much as I hated it, I loved it!

As for that "Blizzard", it started raining in the early afternoon. It turned to sleet early evening-ish and just (10pm) turned into snow. MG will get to wake up to a white day after Christmas!

We are truly blessed. This may have been the best Christmas yet.

Christmas Through Her Eyes

This has, by far, been the best Christmas ever. And it's only Christmas Eve! I cannot even begin to express the joy and pure happiness being MG's momma brings me. Watching her tonight was almost more than I could handle! She is so full of life and energy. She is happiness, she is laughter and she is the magic of Christmas. Every single year with her (even the year she was in my belly) has been amazing. But this year tops them all! She has been so much fun. She loves every present and is so thankful. We've had a wonderful day.

We've kind of made it our tradition to let her open gifts throughout the day on Christmas Eve. She gets to open one, then gets to play with it for awhile before opening another. I really love doing it this way. It fills our whole day with her smiles and cheers! Hearing her squeal with excitement and say thank you was made my heart want to burst! She had the best time. MG is so energetic and fun these days anyway, but opening gifts definitely brings it out in tenfold!

After our day together, we headed to my parents for our annual Christmas Eve dinner and gifts. I LOVE Christmas Eve at my parents house. It's my very favorite day of the year. We have done the same thing for...I don't even know how many years! It IS Christmas to me! Family, together, laughing, loving...yep, pretty fabulous!

MG was in rare form over there tonight. She sang, she flipped, she ran, she totally put on a performance! But at the end of the night, she told us the story of Jesus' birth and told us that it was Jesus' birthday tomorrow...and that's the best gift.

I love hearing MG tell the Christmas story. She told us how Mary rode a camel and there was no room for them so they went to the barn and Baby Jesus was born. The wise men saw a biiiig star and followed it to see Baby Jesus. And they brought his surprises! I love the shopping and gifts, cookies and ornaments, but the one thing I want my baby girl to know is the real meaning of Christmas. I hope she always knows what a special story that is. I hope that story stays in her heart.

After coming home, I really thought she would crash, but she had to open her last gift from us...then she had to play with it "just for a minute"!

As I rocked MG tonight and tucked her into bed, the only thing I could really think of was how blessed I am.

Parental Backfire

MG had quite the attitude this morning so finally I said "well maybe you don't need those presents then, we'll just give them to some other little girls." Her response? "Yeah, we could share them!" Total backfire, but assured me that I must be doing something right! She has such a heart for others.

Mother Hen

We have our hands so full with MG these days, but she's so funny, too. I just want to remember it all!

Tonight she found me coat (she thought it was Jamey's) hanging on the kitchen chair...

MG: Uh...Daddy? You 'possed to weave your coat on dis chair? NO! You 'possed to hang it over there wif mine

J: Uh...Molly Grace, that's not my coat, you better talk to Momma!

MG (turning to me, still holding the coat): Momma, go hand dis coat where it goes!

I hope she's always this "helpful"! Ha!

3 years??

In 9 days I will have a 3 year old!! I can't believe it! I hadn't realized how grown up she looks until I got to looking at some older pictures yesterday. It's the same sweet face, but she doesn't look anything like a baby or a toddler...she's a little girl. Part of me is so happy and proud and part of me just wants to cry! Ha! I love the little girl she's become, though. She's so funny and stubborn and smart. She has such a sweet heart when she wants to. And she loves Jesus and loves to pray...so I must be doing something right, right?!

Last night we prayed together and she said it all by herself. It was sweet... "Dear Lord, thank you for Momma making me feel all better. Thank you for me. Thank you for Momma, Daddy, Daisy, Bandit (who doesn't live with us anymore), and Cooper (who died a while ago!). Thank you Lord. Amen." I love it! She just has such a thankful heart and knows who to thank.

Her new phrase is "no, sorry honey"! If we want her to do something, she gets this sweet voice and says it while giving us this sympathetic look and shaking her little head! So funny!

Since her tonsillectomy and having recovered, she's a totally different child. She's finally back to the little girl she was a long time ago! She plays constantly, runs, laughs, smiles. It's great. I love that she feels good!

I'll do a whole Molly update on her bday, though! It should be good!

Her party is the weekend after her bday. I was trying to decide whether or not to invite friends, but I think we're going to just stick with family again this year. We're still trying to decide on our theme. She was stuck on Little Mermaid for so long, then it was Cinderella, now it's Sleeping Beauty. She hasn't seen the movie yet, but she loves her in all the books. Hopefully we can come to an agreement soon! Ha!

Elf on the Shelf

The first time I ever heard about Elf on the Shelf, I was in the middle of my 5 year struggle with infertility and deep in the depths of feeling sorry for myself! It was just another thing I added to the list of "I wish I had a baby so I could this with him/her"! I loved the idea of a cute little elf and reading the story together then making up cute little scenes every night.

This year, I finally got to experience the Elf on the Shelf...totally not how I pictured it! Ha! Once again, my little one with a mind of her own didn't react exactly how I had imagined.

The first morning our elf showed up, she was sitting in our tree and had left a note for MG and the book. We read the note and the book together then we named our elf Minnie. She was a little into that day. If she did something good she'd say "tell Minnie Momma!". And if she did something not so good, I could threaten to tell Minnie. The next few days, she still went along with it. Then she had her surgery and we kind of forgot about Minnie.

Last week, we woke up and found Minnie having a tea party with her princesses. MG did not like that! Poor Minnie was flung across the floor while MG told me to "get her outta here"! She doesn't really want her anywhere except sitting in our tree.

This morning we woke up and Minnie was sitting in MG's room on her tree. She had thrown all the ornaments on the floor and hung panties and socks on the tree. She was a little into it this morning. I had to point out that she wasn't on our tree, but she was all about looking for her. She thought it was pretty funny when she first saw her panties on the tree, but she was ready to put them back pretty quick!

We'll see how the next few days go with Minnie. We may try it again next year and see if it goes a little better! She's more into Baby Jesus and I'm so 100% ok with that!

Happily Ever After

Last night MG stayed at her Granny and Pap's while J and I went to our Lifegroup Christmas party. When we picked her up, Mom told us she had gotten out our wedding album and looked at every single picture. She then closed the book and said "and they lived happily ever after"! I love my little princess!

Happy Birthday to Me

Today's my birthday! It's only 8am and it's already been the best day ever. I woke up with a sweet little girl snuggling with me...she's greatest gift I've ever gotten. The fact that she feels 90% like herself and is back to my smiling, laughing, loving little one makes my day even better. But the best part was when she went and got her play birthday cake, brought it over to me, stopped and hugged me and in the sweetest little voice said "Happy Birthday Mom. I wuv you." Yep...best birthday ever and it just started! I get to spend the whole day with my little love bug!

Day 2

MG had a terrible night...TERRIBLE! We were up every hour for awhile. When it was time for her medicine, she'd clamp her hands over her mouth and refuse! She cried and whined and snored! It was a long one!

This morning she's much better than I expected. She's drinking and not fighting me too badly. The first hour after her medicine, she's in a great mood and pretty happy. Once it starts wearing off, she's a little more pitiful! She'll say "Momma, I not feewing good". It's heartbreaking! She wants a lot of loving and cuddling which is fine with me! I hate that she feels bad, but I'll take a little loving from my girl!

Tonsils are out, Tubes are in...again!

Today was the day. We had to be there at 7am...which is way better than the 6am appointments the last 3 times! MG got to sleep later and wasn't in a terrible mood. She asked for chocolate milk before she even opened her eyes, though, and wasn't too happy when I said No. We didn't have to wait in the waiting room long at all. We got right back. They wanted to put her in a gown and she LOST IT!! Seriously, screaming NO at us, kicking, it was bad! I felt awful for the other people waiting on the other side of the curtain! The nice anesthesiologist came in and offered to give her something like Valium to calm her down! We were very thankful as was everyone else, I'm sure!

The surgery only took about 30 minutes. And she did great. We had to wait another 30-45 minutes for her to wake up before they brought her out to us. They wheeled her back and a sweet nurse was holding her close on the gurney. They were really sweet to her! I was a little shocked because she had blood coming out of her nose and ear! Not the first thing you want to see. But they gave me several towels, handed her over for me to snuggle and assured me it was normal. She was a miserable sight. She'd snuggle up for about a minute then start crying hysterically, which made her nose run bloody even more and made her start coughing. It was a vicious cycle! But she drank some juice and we got to go home. Her ENT told us that today would be her best day and tomorrow will be her worst.

Today has been way better than I imagined. She has eaten (ice cream, popsicles, marshmallows...it will take me a month to detox her from all the sugar!) and drank (apple juice, kool aid and water) pretty well.

It's getting close to bedtime now (7:15) and she's getting very testy and miserable. Her nose is snotty and she can't suck her fingers...no good!

Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving! It's always been one of my favorite holidays. Maybe because it's so low-key, but such a time of family and togetherness. I don't know! It's the true start of fall for me, the beginning of the holidays, yummy food, yummy smells and a time to stop and reflect on all God has blessed me with.

I love thinking back on all the Thanksgivings we spent at my Mamaw and Grandma's houses. They lived in small houses so we were all crammed together, laughing and enjoying each other. It was great! I miss those Thanksgivings so much. I still remember the smells, the sounds and the tastes so well! I hope when MG is 30 she will still be thinking about her childhood Thanksgivings and remembering them fondly.

We've had some crazy Thanksgivings these past few years. 3 years ago Dad was in the hospital after his heart attack and I was pregnant with MG. We ate carryout Cracker Barrel in his hospital room! Last year my sister and her family were gone to Disney World so it just wasn't the same. This year my Grandma is in the hospital and my mom is with her. So we spent Thanksgiving lunch at Cracker Barrel! I probably should have just sucked it up and cooked, but I wanted everyone to enjoy their food! Ha!

Thanksgiving is a time to thank our Heavenly Father for what he has given us - that is truly the purpose of the holiday to me. Granted, we should stop each and everyday and be thankful. And I am thankful everyday. But it's nice to take an entire day and just relish in your blessings! I have so very very much to be thankful for. The Lord has provided for me, blessed me, taught me, redeemed me, and given me so much more than I deserve.

First and foremost, I am thankful for my Lord and Savior. I am not perfect, but He loves me anyway! I screw up on a daily basis, but He loves me in spite of it! I have been down paths I shouldn't have been down, but He was there waiting when I decided to turn around. Who else loves us like that? Without His mercy, forgiveness, patience, comfort and strength, I would never make it through a single day! Thank you Lord for all that you are and all that you bless me with!

I am thankful that I get to spend my life with my best friend and soul mate. He was created for me and placed in my life to be my partner. There's no doubt about that in my mind or in my heart! I love the way he loves me. He is my laughter, my smile, my support, my everything. And the way he loves our daughter makes him even more special to me! He is the most amazing dad - tender, caring, loving. He never skimps on hugs and kisses. There is no way MG can ever doubt how much her Daddy loves her.

I am so thankful that I was chosen to be a momma. And even more thankful that I was chosen to be MG's momma! I wanted nothing more from my life than to be a wife and mother. I spent five long years yearning for the chance to be a mom. MG is the answer to so many of my hopes and prayers. She is funny, smart, sassy, independent, energetic, wild, compassionate, cuddly and full of life. She is my dream come true! I hope she always (even through those awful teenage years when she hates me) knows how loved she is.

I am thankful for my family. I was raised in a home full of love. My mom is my strength, my "home", and my friend. She is always there for me and has always loved me no matter what. She loved me through my unlovable years! She is such an amazing Granny. I am so blessed to get to see my daughter have such a close relationship with and love for her Granny. My Dad has always been willing to do anything for me. He has stood behind me and beside me more times than I can count. He has been my cheering section and my coach. Then there's my sister. I can't imagine my life without her. She's my best friend and the one person I know I could call on at any time for anything.

Then there's my extended family. I am so blessed to have a close relationship with my aunts and cousins and grandma. We all love being together. It's a special bond we share.

I have a great job. I get to wake up every morning and go to a place I love working at, be with people I love working with and do something I love doing. Not many people can say that! The Lord truly blessed me with my job. I fought Him for many years and tried to go my own way, but He led me back to teaching and I'm so glad He knew me better than I knew myself! I get to do something everyday that makes a difference. That's pretty special.

I have a home. A nice, warm, safe home. A place where my family is.

I am healthy and so is my family. We have our issues and MG has had a time with her poor ears. But we are healthy. We're not going through chemo or the loss of a child. We are so blessed with our health. Sometimes I really start to get frustrated over MG's ears and it makes me so sad for her that she's lived in pain and hasn't really been able to hear for 2 years. But we are so blessed that she's here with us. She's going to grow out of her ear troubles and be good as new. She had such a rough start on life which reminds me daily how special she is and how blessed we are!

I have an amazing church home with a wonderfully supportive Life Group. I am so blessed by them. They are a caring, praying group of people. I'm so glad God led us there!

I could go on and on about what I'm thankful for.

Puppy Shampoo

Last night MG used half a bottle of her favorite shampoo while playing in the tub. It's her favorite shampoo because it has a puppy on it! It has a puppy on it because it's the puppy's shampoo! Oh my!

Christmas List

Me: Molly Grace, what do you want Santa to bring you? MG: Hmmm...some yo-yos! Me: Yo-Yos? You want yo-yos for Christmas? MG: Uh-huh Me: Ok...what else do you want from Santa? MG: Macaroni Me: Macaroni? MG: Yea! Macaroni and Cheese! Me: Ok then! Looks like I can shop at the dollar store and get her entire Christmas for only $2.00! Ha!

Update on the Ears

We found a new ENT here in town...PTL!

I really like him, felt immediately at ease and just knew that's where we needed to be. We are scheduled for surgery on November 29th. They are going to take out the R ear tube and put a new set in both ears, take out her tonsils and remove her adenoids that have grown back! Her left ear is full of "gunk" so they will culture it in the operating room if it's still yucky when they get in.

I know this needs to be done. 2 ENTs have told us that now. I know it will make my baby better (hopefully) but I'm really nervous! Tubes and adenoids are nothing, we've been there 3 times already! But tonsils are new and scary to me. He says our biggest concern is going to be keeping her hydrated. As small as she is, she can get dehydrated fast. He said to pull out the tough love and make her drink...I told him I can't "make" her do anything! Ha!

Princess Party

Molly Grace was invited to a friend from church's 3rd bday party today. She has been so excited since we got the invitation 2 weeks ago! It's all she's been talking about. She knew Rapunzel was going to be at the party and we got her a new Cinderella dress to wear. She has asked me every day at least 20 times if it was time yet!

She looked so cute in her Cinderella dress and she had a really good time. She's usually such a shy, reserved kid (in public only!) but she did so well. She played the games, sat with the other kids while they opened presents then played in the birthday girl's room...all without me by her side! Yay! Progress!

It's so fun to see that side of her. I see her at home with us, I see her with her older cousins and I see her with Heath at Granny's house, but to see her giggling, squealing and playing with other little princesses was great! And she was fascinated with Rapunzel. She usually HATES anything dressed up, but she posed for pictures with Rapunzel and even gave her a goodbye hug! I couldn't believe it! I'm so proud of my little girl! And I just have to say how much fun it is to have a little princess and take her to little birthday parties! I thought about that for many years and wondered a lot of times if I would ever have that pleasure! I'm so thankful that God blessed me with a little princess of my own!

My Molly

I haven't written anything in awhile so I thought it was time! I am having a love hate relationship with Molly Grace's newfound personality right now! Ha! She is such a strongwilled, determined little thing. When she wants something, she wants it right then and she wants it her way...she does not give an inch. I try not to be too hard on her because she is exactly like me!! If you cross her or don't give in to her way, watch out! It becomes melt down city! She can go from laughing to screaming and back to laughing again in 2 seconds flat! Sometimes I'm almost positive her head will start spinning! Ha!

But Oh how I love that little sassy britches! She is as sweet as she is rotten! We are working really hard on our manners. We try really hard to stop her fits and remind her that she doesn't get what she wants by crying and screaming at us. She dries it up pretty fast and gives us an overly sweet "pleeeease"! She's good. I have to hand it to her. She can turn it on and off as fast as she needs to!

MG is really into princesses right now. She went through a Peter Pan and Tinkerbell obsession for awhile, but now she's so into Little Mermaid. She is going to be Little Mermaid for Halloween and insists that she is having a Little Mermaid "Happy Day" party. She isn't giving in at all on that! I ordered Cinderella and it came today so we watched it for the first time tonight. She was pretty fascinated with it, too. When the step mom was being so mean to Cinderella, MG looked over with the most pitiful face and said "awww, poor Cinderella"! I love that she feels such empathy for her princesses! She's so tenderhearted.

We are still struggling with her being so painfully shy. She hates people. I don't use the word "hate" often. But she really hates people! It takes her forever to warm up to any family that we visit with. And as often as she sees the ladies at my work, she still won't even look at them. If someone says hi to her, she grunts and turns her head away! I feel so bad because she misses out on a lot of fun things because she's so shy. I see these other kids playing games at the fair and different places and participating in different things and she just refuses to have anything to do with anything or anyone. I pray that she grows out of it. I grew out of it when I hit about 25! Hopefully she learns a little quicker than I did!

ACH ENT Appt.

MG's appt. at ACH's ENT clinic finally came on Monday. After 40 days on antibiotics, 40 days on 3 different drops and a positive test for MRSA, I was ready! I had all her medical records; a nice, typed, organized list of her ear infections and medications for the past 2 years; and a list of questions. I have to say that I am NOT a fan of ACH's ENT clinic. I think the hospital is amazing, but I will never make the drive again just to see their doctors. I guess maybe I had set my hopes too high. I expected answers and solutions and we got none of that.

First of all, we didn't even see the doctor we had to wait 3 weeks to see! We saw a resident, not even a "real" doctor! The resident came in a checked her out and MG was not happy. He had no idea how to relate to children. I'm thinking a children's hospital is NOT the place for him! Then his attending physician came in. The thing I hate about that is that she asked the resident questions about MG, instead of asking her parents who are sitting right there! I felt like my poor child was a health class for these residents (as 3 more stood at the open door observing!).

The totally miraculous thing is that her MRSA ear was 100% dry and clear! She said that is very rare. Oral antibiotics alone rarely clear up MRSA. It usually has to be suctioned out every day for a couple weeks. GOD IS SO GOOD!! He heard our prayers and He healed her! So it was a good appt in that sense. We also had her hearing checked and she (sort of) passed with flying colors! She flat-out refused to participate in the hearing test. She acted like she knew nothing and wouldn't even say a word or play that "games" that the audiologist tried to play with her. She did do the hearing screener though where she sticks something in her ears and measures something or other and she passed that! She said it's almost impossible for her to have any hearing loss after passing the screening. PTL!

The tube in her left ear (the one that the infection originally started in on August 9th)still has some fluid behind the ear drum and her tube is out - just floating around in there! But they don't want to replace the tube until she it gets infected again...which it will! And her tonsils are huge and have an odor, which means they need to come out. But they don't want to do that until they do the tube surgery. Grrr! All of this needs to be done, but they want to wait.

So...that's what we're doing! We're waiting! I feel 120% blessed that the MRSA cleared up on its own. I never want to make it seem like I'm not thankful for that. God is good and he answered our cries for healing. I guess I was really just wanting some longterm solutions to my poor baby's ear troubles. I know as her mom, I probably overreact and it's a lot more important to me than to others. So we will wait and trust in the Lord! Afterall, He loves her even more than I do!

Sweet Prayers

"Thank you God for Jesus, thank you for my family, thank you for this day. Thank you for Momma, Daddy, Daisy, Bandit and Cooper. Amen!"

Thank you Lord for my precious baby and her sweet, innocent heart! Hearing her precious little voice lifted up to Him fills my heart to the brim!

Lab Results

The results are in and it's definitely MRSA :( Part of me really hoped that it was a mistake! The good news is that the strain she has is sensitive to the Sulfa drug she's currently on. The bad news is that she was on this same drug the first round. Which means it temporarily contained it. We're still trying to get into the ENT sooner, but worst case, our appt is only 2 weeks away. We will keep her on antibiotics until she goes. There's a little bit of a smell back today, but still NO draining! Praise the LORD!!

Yucky Ears

Wednesday we went back to the pediatrician for a re-check after her 2nd round of antibiotics. I knew the news wouldn't be good because her ear was still draining like crazy and smelled horrible. Sure enough, it was still so full of puss and gross stuff that she couldn't even see the tube or ear drum. The ped. took a culture of her ear goop to see why antibiotics wasn't clearing it up. She put her back on an antibiotic (round 3) and a different (steroid) ear drop. I got a call Friday with the results of her ear culture...MRSA, the really bad staph. Great! Seriously?! When I heard the letters "MRSA", my heart stopped and I thought I would throw up! All I could think of was the terrible, horrible staph stories you hear of in hospitals. The pediatrician said she wasn't overly concerned at the moment, though, and that calmed me a little. They are only preliminary results, the full report won't be back until tomorrow so we'll know a lot more then. I immediately started emailing our life group leader and she forwarded on my prayer request. I really can't explain the immediate feeling of peace I had! It's was nothing short of a God thing! I'm a panicker by nature, so the fact that I was calm couldn't have come from anywhere else! It's an amazing thing to know that so many people are praying for your baby! Our life group leader also forwarded on this email she had gotten eariler with pencil sketches someone had done of Jesus with children. She reminded me that as hard as it is to imagine, He loves MG even more than I do and He always has his watchful eye and protective hand on her! Wow! What a reminder! And what an amazing thought! The even better news is that over the weekend, we have seen AMAZING improvements in MG's ears. For the first time in SIX WEEKS, her ear is not draining and it doesn't stink!!! Our prayers were heard and they were answered! God is good! I'm anxious to hear back from the pediatrician tomorrow, but I'm really excited about her progress. We still have our appt at Arkansas Children's Hospital ENT clinic next month. I'm anxious to hear what they have to say!

Update on the Ears

Tuesday MG complained of her ears at naptime and again at bedtime. So Wednesday I took her to the pediatrician. Her left ear (the one that was already infected that we've been trying to clear up for 2 weeks) was still a little infected. Her right was was horribly infected. The doc couldn't see her eardrum at all and couldn't tell if the tube was still in - it's that pussy and yucky! So...she's back on an oral antibiotic for 10 more days plus we're continuing the drops. Today's Sunday and her ear is still smelly and draining, but she hasn't been complaining as much.
I hate that her ears are so horrible. It breaks my heart to think of the pain she's in all the time. She can't hear and her speech is suffering because of it, too. It's awful!
We're considering taking her to a specialist in Little Rock. Someone my in-laws know took their daughter there for the same kind of issues and she hasn't had trouble since. Our ENT is nice, but he's very old-school and I don't have much confidence in him. I love our pediatrician, but she can only do so much. I just want my baby to be all better!
Luckily, it hasn't put a damper on her spirit at all! Ha! She's still as spunky as ever!

What's Going On?

I haven't updated in awhile so here goes... I'm back at work. We are slowly and painfully adjusting to our new routine! MG doesn't like going to bed early. Most nights it's still 9 or 10 before she finally gives in and falls asleep! Getting her up in the morning is a chore! I miss her like crazy, but love being back in a routine and not home all day. She's always so happy when I get there to pick her up and I love it!

MG promoted up to the next SS class at church. They do lessons and an art every Sunday. She's cried when we dropped her off the last 2 weeks, but is always smiling and playing when we pick her up! She tells us what fun she had and has even asked to go to Church on several occasions throughout the week! Huge step for us!

MG also moved up to a new class at mother's day out. Of course her Granny moved up with her! Mom is an awesome teacher though and I know mg will learn so much. There's finally another little girl in her class to play with! Yay!

We went back to the ENT Monday after 10 days of antibiotics to check on her ear. Good news...the tube is still in! Bad news...it's still infected! She's back on ear drops twice a day (not so fun!) and hopefully it will get cleared up. That poor baby and her ears! I hate it for her!

Daisy has adjusted well to the daily torture my toddler inflicts on her! MG just loved her so much and considers her her very own living, furry baby! Her 4 little feet rarely touch the floor!

MG is potty trained other than at night. She wears her cute little panties, tells us when she needs to go and does it all by herself! I never dreamed such a strong willed child would be so easily potty trained! She really loves to peeped in the yard! That must come from her daddy's side!

Speaking of strong willed... ! She still has such a strong personality. She is sweet, love able, kindhearted and funny. But she wants her way, when she wants it and isn't shy to let you know! She has a little bit of a mouth on her (apple doesn't fall far from the tree unfortunately!), but is quick to apologize when corrected. I have never seen a 2 year old with such an imagination. She is always pretending and acting things out. She is creative and imaginative.

This week, she has referred to her daddy and me as "the girl" and "the boy". Yes, I'm serious!

I know I'm leaving so much out. There's just no way to put it all down. I really wish I could bottle up her sweet little voice and personality and keep it forever!

Prayers

After a pretty great Sunday School lesson that really spoke to Jamey and I, we started praying out loud with Molly Grace before bed. Monday night she just listened. Last night she repeated everything I said. But tonight...tonight she prayed all on her own. I have never in my life heard something so sweet. I was a very proud momma with a heart about to burst!! She thanked God for molly, momma, daddy, daisy and bandit! Then she thanked God for Jesus! She thought of that all on her own! Oh how I love that girl and the person she is!

Welcome Home Daisy!

MG has talked about a puppy constantly since we lost Cooper. Yesterday we finally got to bring Daisy home. She's a 6 week old Cocker Spaniel puppy and is the cutest thing ever! MG stayed at Granny and Pap's while we went to get Daisy. When we came in with her she was so excited! She kept saying she loved her s'pwise (surprise)! All she wants to do is hold the poor dog and carry her around! It's her baby! Today MG has actually been a little jealous of Daisy and the attention. But she loves her to pieces! She took her down the slide so many times this morning and carried her everywhere. The poor dog's feet never touch the floor! All throughout the day, MG would stop what she was doing and say "tank you for my new puppy...I wuv her"! So sweet! I hope they grow up to be inseperable!

Mother Hen

My child is such a Mother Hen...AKA the bossy one! Ha! She's so funny. Her new thing is to be the Momma and I'm Molly Grace. She makes me call her Momma and reminds me over and over that I'm MG! It's pretty funny in public when she calls me MG instead of Momma! Yesterday she had J and I laying in her bed with her. She'd say "Momma, cwose ur eyes wight now! Go to sweep!" When I did what she said, she patted my head and said "awww tank you for wisening to me Momma, good job!" She always had chocolate milk (Ovaltine) for breakfast and plain milk before bed. She didn't eat much at all yesterday (like usual) so I decided to make her Ovaltine before bed. She came in there and saw what I was doing, put her hand on her hip and in a very impressive teacher voice said "Momma, you s'possed make me chocwat miwk at night?". She'll say "Momma, you s'possed say no to me?" Some poor kindergarten teacher is going to have her hands full!!!

100% Potty Trained???

It's almost too good to be true! She's been peeing on the potty forever now, but refused to poop on the potty. She'd be going in her pull-up and if you asked her if she needed to go she'd say "jus a minute, K?"! She had no interest at all! Last Friday I thought she might be getting ready and asked her if she wanted to sit on the potty and do it. She sat for a minute and decided she wanted to get down. All she needed was the reminder of a big treat, though! She got right back up, did her thing and was SO excited for herself! We had a big celebration and she's gone on the potty ever since! No accidents, no changing panties! YAY!!! Of course she still sleeps in a pull-up. We'll cross that bridge when she's ready!

Words from a Diva

Me: Molly Grace, pick your toys up MG: NO! Me: You don't say "no" to Momma! MG: No thank you! Should I be concerned by the attitude or impressed with the manners?! After telling MG to stop doing something several times, she (of course) did it once more.... Me: If you do that 1 more time, I'm going to spank your bottom MG: Hey! Dat not very nice, you say you sorry to me! Everyone and everything "scares" her. If she doesn't want to go to school, it's because the kids scare her. If she doesn't want to go to bed, it's because her big girl bed scares her! If I tell her Daddy's on his way home, Daddy scares her! After much whining I say "Molly Grace, hush". MG: You not tell me hush. Daddy, Momma say hush to me. I can only imagine this mouth on a 13 year old!!! She keeps us laughing and praying!

Bedtime Story

We were at Lifeway a few weeks ago and they had a bedtime book on clearance. I bought it because we were having some bedtime issues and I thought she might like a consistent book to read at night. I had no idea what a huge hit this book would be! It's called "Bedtime with Night Light" and it's a cute little rhyming book about a night light going to bed. He brushes his teeth, finds his blankie, reads a story and says a prayer. She loves it so much and we've read it so many times that she can recite the ENTIRE book word for word! Most nights she "reads" it to us, then I have to read it to her. It's so funny to hear her "read" it because she imitates my tone of voice exactly! She's really the smartest kid ever!

She's a Performer

MG is always dressing up and dancing, playing the keyboard or singing for us lately! She LOVES to play Just Dance with me in the Wii and even does Zumba! I'm signing her up for dance this fall - no matter what! It's time! Tonight we were outside and she stood up on the rocks lining our flower bed, counted down (1 and a 1 and a 1, 2, 3...) and sang at the top of her lungs! Then she's walk over to the sidewalk, pretend to press the buttons on her radio and find a song then start over! I had flashbacks to when my sister and I would hang curtains on our old front porch and put on shows!

Incredible Pizza Day-Cation

We opted out of taking a summer vacation this year. We tossed a few plans around, but really there just wasn't time. We have something almost every single weekend with J's family which means traveling 2.5 hours there and back every weekend. It just wasn't happening. J has been off for 5 days this week, though, and it's been great. We stayed home doing nothing Wed and Thurs. Today we drove over to Memphis and took MG to Incredible Pizza. She's such a huge Chuck E. Cheese fanatic that we knew she'd love I.P. And she did! It was nice just to get out of town with my little family and have some fun. We got to stop at Kirklands and let me shop on the way home so I'm a happy girl, too!

Big Girl Bed!

I finally finished painting MG's new big girl (twin size) bed! My aunt was sweet enough to let us have an almost brand new bed, but it was a cream color. I spent the last week painting in 105 degree weather! But...it was worth it! The bed looks so good and her room looks so cute! She picked out her own bedspread and sheets. She's so excited because her sheets have flowers. When she layed down tonight she giggled and said "wook at aww the fwowers"! I've been terrible about adding pictures to these posts, but I'm going to have to make sure I add some pictures of her new bed and room. It's too cute not to! I was really hoping (and praying) that she would be so comfortable in her new bed that she'd sleep all night again...Nope! I was also hoping she'd love it so much that she'd go to bed without a fight...Nope again! She's still getting in bed with us around 4-5am (last night it was 3am). Tonight it took an hour and me sitting in her floor for her to go to sleep. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss my 6 month old! She slept better then than she does now! Ha! I can't believe how quickly my girl is growing up. Yesterday as we were taking down her crib, it hit me hard! It seems like just yesterday we were so excited about getting her crib put together and waiting to put her in it. Time flies by so quickly. I never understood just how quickly until I became a mother!

Summer Fun

I can't believe so much time has passed since I last blogged and I really can't believe so many weeks of Summer Break have already passed. I can't really think of anything big or exciting that has happened since I last wrote. We're having a low-key summer! And I love it! MG goes to "school" (aka Mother's Day Out) on Tuesdays and Thursdays still. I thought it was pretty important to keep her on some part of her routine. Plus it gives me some time to chill out, go to lunch, and go to professional development when I need to. On Fridays we go to Storytime at the library. She's moved up a group this summer! She now goes to the Pee-Wee storytime instead of Lapsit. She gets her very own carpet square (which she refuses to sit on), they hear stories and get to make a craft every week. Her friend Jack goes, too! They love playing afterward. We try to go eat lunch with her Daddy at least once a week. That's one of my favorite things about summertime! He loves it and we love it, too! We've been to Chuck E Cheese a couple times. We even took J one day! I'm not sure who had more fun! We went to the water park in the next town over one day. We met 3 of my girlfriends and their kiddos for lunch then all ventured to the park. MG had a blast. She's such a water bug. She actually had a pretty close call once. She lost her balance and went forward in to the water and couldn't get her balance. Before I could get to her she came up and went back down again. It scared the crap out of me, but she was fine a minute later and back in the water! I'm not sure if being fearless is a good or dangerous quality! We love playing in the pool. I call it our "Redneck Country Club"! She loves splashing around, sticking her face in the water, and sliding down her slide. I love that she's not scared of water at all! Every weekend we've been going up to the hills. We spent 1 weekend at the lake, 1 weekend was her cousin's 3rd bday party and last weekend was J's aunt and uncle's 50th wedding anniversary party. This weekend we're going up just to relax at the lake. She loves the lake! She had a great time at the party - she scarfed down a cupcake and was so cute doing it that she gained an audience! Ha! She was a really good sport at the anniversary party, too. It was past naptime, it was hot and full of strangers. But she was so good! I am in awe every single day at what a little girl she has become! She carries on conversations, tells us what she wants (or doesn't want!), if something hurts she can tell us, she knows what she likes (and doesn't like!). If she wants to watch "Diego" (her new favorite obsession) she just tells us! It's crazy! Her new thing is "I WILL not"! I hear that a lot! Or "I don't want to". She's something else! I have my hands completely full and can only imagine what is to come! She not only loves to watch Diego, but she loves to play Diego! She's always looking for an animal to rescue or playing with baby Jaguar. She has an imagination a mile long! Sometimes I worry because she doesn't ever want to play with other kids and refuses to talk to anyone she doesn't know really well...I hope she outgrows that! A couple nights after we set up her toddler bed, she figured out that she can get out on her own. Sometimes bedtime is a struggle, but for the most part it's not too bad. Every night, though, she gets up around 1 to 3 am and gets in bed with us. Part of me knows I should put a stop to it, but the other (bigger) part of me loves it! I want her to go to bed in her own bed - and she does. I used to get in bed with my parents every night until I was in elementary school! I was old enough that I remember it! I don't think it hurts anything! I like to get my snuggle time in! I guess I should add in here that our sweet puppy Cooper died. It's been almost 4 weeks and I still have to sing about him every single night when I tuck MG in. She definitely misses him! He was such a good puppy and she was so crazy about him. We're tossing around the idea of a new one, but honestly, another one could never replace him. I guess we'll wait and see!

Big Girl Bed

We decided to try taking MG's bed down to a toddler bed and see if that helped her sleeping/nighttime issues. This is her 3rd night in it. Night 1 was rough. Took her until almost 11 to fall asleep. She would sit up and scream at us. She didn't want to go to sleep at all, but she never got out! I don't think she realized she could! She ended up sleeping all night in her own bed, though! Yay! Night 2 she went to sleep better, but woke up in the middle of the night to get in our bed. I had to go get her, though, because she still didn't realize she could get out on her own! Tonight, night 3, took her less time to finally go to sleep, less crying, but she did figure out that she could get up! Twice we looked up and she was just standing in the middle of her bedroom watching us! We'll see how long she stays in her own bed...hopefully all night! Momma needs some sleep! She looks so big in her big bed! She's not my baby anymore, she's a big girl. Not sure I like that at all! But the other part of me is so full of pride! She's an amazing little creature full of life, wonder and energy!

Lake Trip

We spent a much needed weekend away at the lake. We have been up there tons, of course, to see J's parents, but we've never stayed at the lake house or taken MG out on the boat. We got in Friday night and took the 4wheeler down to the water to let MG look. She wanted J to swim her out to a buoy in the water! We got up Saturday morning and headed out on the boat with MG's uncle, aunt and cousins. She LOVED it!! She loved watching the water spray up. We stopped at a little beach area and let the kids swim and play. I thought she would go nuts over the sand, but she never would get out of the water long enough to play in it! She had the best time splashing around, playing water tag with Eli, swimming and playing. On the way back, she kept wanting the boat to go faster! Sunday morning she kept asking to go on "her" boat!

Potty Training in Full Force

MG decided she wanted to peeper in her princess potty on Wednesday...she's been going ever since! It's actually pretty amazing and a little shocking how easy it's been. But, we didn't pressure her. We let her decide it was time and that's how she works best! Yesterday she was dry all day except for 1 accident. But we were outside playing and she squatted in the yard and peed! Other than that she was dry all day and peed in her potty (and the potty at Taco Bell) at least 100 times! She loves those Smarties she gets when she goes! I started off giving her 4 or 5 in a bowl when she went, but quickly switched it to 1 in each hand when I realized she was willing to sit on the potty for hours straining to get a tiny drop of something out for a treat! Today she woke up dry and has been dry ever since! We took her to the store and let her pick out new panties (they were out of Dora so she settled for Minnie) and got some Dora Pullups. I am so proud of her! And I love how excited she gets when she goes. She'll say "Momma sooo pwoud of me!". I'm glad she knows I am! I wonder if she knows how sad I am about how quickly she's growing up?!

I Guess It's Time to Potty Train

My plan all along has been to potty train (or at least try my best!) MG this summer while I'm off. I haven't been in any hurry, but I think she's ready. Friday I was changing her diaper and she said "I want to peepee on my princess potty"...and she did! Later that afternoon she peed in her potty again! Saturday she insisted on sitting on the potty at the restaurant we were at. She strained and tried to pee until her face was blood red and she was shaking! She's dedicated! Ha! Saturday afternoon at home she asked to sit on her princess potty again and she pooped on the potty!! We were both shocked. It freaked her out a little! But once I got excited for her, she was excited, too! Today she's asked to potty a few times but only actually went once. So, I guess that's my cue to take it seriously. Looks like we won't be going many places this week except the bathroom!

Sleep Update

I guess I need to update so that when we go through this again in a few months I can look back and see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! Whatever MG was going through, she is finally working it out. I've done surprises and rewards for sleeping in her bed at nap this week and she gets chocolate milk in the morning for sleeping in her bed all night. I'm not proud of my bribery, but when you're desperate, you use what you can! Wednesday night was probably our absolute hardest night. I had a dinner to go to which started off the evening in a negative light. When I got home at 9:15ish, she was still in her bed crying. Jamey said she'd been crying for me for an hour...break a Mother's heart! So I rocked her and calmed her down, but as soon as I went to lay her down she flipped out. So I sat in her bedroom floor staring at the pattern in the carpet for an hour. She would periodically peek up and make sure I was still there before laying back down. She ended up asleep and slept in her bed until 5:30am! I was so proud. Thursday night we were at the ballpark until 9pm so she was exhausted when we got home. I rocked her, sang her some songs and she was out. Her only request is that we leave the door open. We've always shut her door when we leave and she's always been fine with it. But now she wants it open and that we can handle! Naps have been good, too. Today I layed her down, sang 2 songs and she's been asleep for 2 hours! Thank you, Lord, that this too shall pass! **Update...I "spoke" too soon and the night ended up awful! She did sleep through the night once she finally went to sleep, though. I have to give her points for creativity, though. She needed a drink, she was hungry, her finger hurt and she needed a bandaid...

Little Princess

I got MG dressed and fixed her hair this morning before school. She wanted to "show the mirror" how she looked! When she saw herself she said "I a wittle pincess"! Yes she is!

Sleep Disaster

It seems like a couple times a year we have a few weeks of horrible bedtimes...this is one of those times! It has been a nightmare at our house lately. Literally. Last week she started not wanting to go to bed at night, but she did. Wednesday night she woke up at 11:30 hysterical and I put her in bed with us. She was OK the next couple nights. But this weekend was the worst. I'm hoping it was kind of the peak and now it'll get easier again! Fingers crossed! Last night was a.w.f.u.l. Finally, at 9:30 (after 1.5 hours of crying, screaming, rocking, singing, etc), I gave in and put her in bed with us. She quit crying, but she was still wound up and didn't want to sleep. Today's naptime was a joke. She fell almost asleep while I was rocking her so I laid her down and she was fine. 20 minutes later she woke up hysterical and never did go back to sleep. Tonight everything was looking good, but when I laid her down she started in again. Finally she just asked me to leave the door open and she's been in there quiet for about 10 minutes...fingers crossed she stays that way. I hate the way she's crying. It's a snot bubble, drooling, heaving, gasping for breath, eyes wide and terrifed kind of cry. It breaks my heart and I don't know why it started. I don't know how to fix it and that kills me! She has to sleep, I can't give in completely! I'm praying this is a (SHORT) phase!

Little Shopper

I've trained my little one well! Ha! We went running around a little today looking for some decorative things to put on our new shelves in the living room. I got a little sidetracked in the purse section of Trees N Trends, but MG was happy as could be! She picked herself out a bag, handed it to her Daddy and said "Daddy, you pay for it?". I almost fell in the floor I was laughing so hard! She was so serious and sweet about it! I love my little mini-me!

M-O-L-L-Y

My little smartie can now read the letters in her name!! She's obsessed with drawing on the driveway with sidewalk chalk. So I figured we might as well make it educational (out comes the teacher in me! ha!). I started writing her name everytime we were out there and always said the letters while writing. Yesterday, I had her say the letters with me. Then she went back and read them herself...over and over! I kind of thought maybe it was just a fluke, but I wrote her name today at mom's and had her read the letters again and she did it! Sometimes I can't believe how smart she is! Smart, funny, sweet and pretty...that's my girl!

Sunday School Success

I can't believe the progress MG has made in the past few months when we take her to Sunday School. Before we started our new church, she would SCREAM and cry the entire time we were gone. By the time we picked her up, she was hiccupping, snotting, and coudn't even catch her breath! I was terrified we would never be able to go to church! We are at Central now and absolutely love everything about it. But most of all, I love how happy my baby is! She didn't love it right away, she cried the first few weeks we dropped her off. She would be fine when we picked her up, though. Now, you ask her if she wants to go to church and play with her friends and she says YES! Praise the Lord! We love her teacher, she's so sweet and I think that makes all the difference. We dropped her off today and she cried for just a minute because there was another little girl being dropped off who was having a meltdown (and let me tell you, I felt for that Momma!). But she was fine before we even got around the corner. She stays for both services now and is happy as can be when we get there. Today, we saw her through the window playing Ring Around the Rosey with her teacher. She was happy and smiling. I was so happy! I love our church and I love the new LifeGroup we've joined. So it makes me so happy to know that she is happy and having fun, too.

Mollyisms

MG is talking more and more lately and sometimes it's so funny to hear what comes out of her mouth! She picks up everything and uses it at the right time. It's the best! My favorite right now is "no matter what". She says this all the time lately. I have no idea where she heard it, but I'm glad she did because I love it! If I tell her not to do something, she'll hug on me and say "no matter what, momma"! Everything lately is not just "no", but "no way jose"! Sometimes she forgets the "jose" part and will add it on afer a pause! She loves hiding and will say "peek-boo". Who needs the "uh"?! Her way is a lot cuter! She'll say "that's close". I couldn't figure out where that came from, either, but I heard it on her Dora movie today. She's SO into Dora right now. Every night we watch Dora. She has Dora everyhing and talks about her constantly! Now she's starting playing "Dora". If we are riding in the car she'll say "if see Momma's house, yell Momma's house" just like they do on the show! I can't say enough how much I love her little personality! I have loved every single day of her life, but this has to be my favorite stage so far!! She's a ball of fun!

Today at lunch, a co-worker was talking about someone she had recently seen after hearing lots of stories about. She said "she wasn't at all what I had pictured". Tonight, I found myself thinking the exact same thing about MG! When MG was in my belly, I had an image of what I thought she'd look like...she proved me wrong! I had thoughts about what kind of baby she would be...and she proved me wrong! I imagined her as a shy and quiet little girl, sweet and timid, loving and obedient. She IS all of that...but she's so much more!! I am so in love with who she is, I just think it's so funny how wrong we can be! Molly Grace is so full of life and energy. Her laugh is contagious. Her smile lights up my world! I love that little girl more than I ever imagined was possible.

Amen

MG was cooking dinner at her play kitchen tonight. She loves to make Jamey or me sit at her little table and bring us things to eat. She brought Jamey his food and set it on the table. Then she did the sweetest thing...she stopped, folded her hands and said some words we couldn't understand. But then she said "Amen". My heart has never been so happy! It was the simplest little thing, but it said so much. I pray often that we will set a good example for her. I hope the grows up having a heart for Jesus.

4 Letter Word

I'm not sure where my child learned her newest 4 letter word, but she loves to use it, and it's always at an appropriate time! I'm just praying she doesn't drop or spill something during Sunday School because that's when she loves to use her newest word! Tonight she dropped the remote on the floor and the batteries flew out...and she said "oooooh $hit". Jamey very calmy says: "No, no, baby. We don't say that. Say "Oh Shoot"! MG replies very smugly: "$hit...shoot...$hit...shoot"! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry!

Nothing New

It's been awhile since I updated...again! But really, nothing new is going on! I guess that's actually a good thing. No news is good news!

We are knee-deep in the middle of the Terrible Twos! Every second seems like a battle of the wills between us and our "Strong-Willed Child"! Our house is Meltdown Central. I never ever thought that I would be the calm parent who just shrugs and ignores a fit and Jamey would be the one it drives insane! But that's the way it turned out! Ha! Still makes me laugh that I'm the calm one!

Molly Grace is so smart - I just can't stress how smart she is. I want to remember what an amazing vocabulary (and correct usage) she has right now. It shocks me on a daily basis when she identifies something or uses a word or phrase correctly. I hope she's always so bright - and uses it! She has a Dora book with animals in it. She can name the sloth, toucan, porcupine and other crazy animals! She knows her colors, constantly counts everything and loves to sing. My mom says it's obvious she's a teacher's child because she loves to be in charge and boss everyone around...and she does! But so do I! Ha!

She takes care of the kids at school - she keeps them in line! Ha! Mom said Tuesday she looked over and MG had her finger pointed at a little boy and very seriously, calmly and slowly told him "Nnno...Nnnno..Nnnno"! Oh my! What are we in for?

On a daily basis, I look at Jamey, shake my head and ask "what in the world are we going to do with her?!". He doesn't know either!

If we get on to her she either:
*runs away laughing like we're chasing her
*plays dead
*pretends to be sleeping (sometimes complete with snoring!)
*mocks us
*melts down
*screams

It's never dull around here!

I have to add in here (so I don't read this years down the road and regret not defending her a little) that she is also the sweetest little lovebug ever (when she wants to be - and only when she wants to be!). She'll grab us by the face and give kisses. When I hold her, she snuggles close and wraps her little arm around mine. She always tells us back "un you" (love you).

She's very compassionate. If she thinks someone or something is hurt, she's right there asking "ok?".

She's very nurturing and into taking care of things (read above for the down side to this trait! Ha!). She'll put her hand or foot in Time Out (yes, I'm serious!). Then immediately ask if it's Ok and say "I know..." while patting it! Strange, yes! But also sweet!

She's C.R.A.Z.Y. about Cooper these days! He's finally getting to where he'll play with her - she doesn't freak him out as much. They'll chase each other around the house until they're both out of breath!

Funny story...we're driving down the road the other day and out of the blue she says "I want a sister". I don't know where that came from, but Jamey was in hog-heaven! He finally had someone on his side of that battle!

Spring Break 2012

I can't believe this week is already over! I've gotten pretty used to being at home with my kiddo lately, going back to work Monday will be tough! I was off for 2 weeks with surgery then only went back for 3 days before being off this entire week for Spring Break. That much off time will spoil a person!

We've had a really great week. I spent the entire time with MG and I loved every second! We didn't do anything spectacular, just had fun hangind out - lots of Mommy-Daughter time!

Here's a re-cap:

*Sleeping in every morning(by sleeping in, I mean 7-7:30ish!) then snuggling in bed and watching Disney until 8 or 9!

*We played at the mall playground and rode the train - which she LOVED! She stuck her head out the little window and kept yelling "Umiiii Zumiii!". The smile on her face was priceless

*We shopped a little

*Ate lunch with her Daddy

*Took long walks

*Had lots of picnics for lunches and snacks (some outside, some on the living room floor)

*Drew with sidewalk chalk

*Flew a kite

*Danced to the Wiggles

*Danced to the beat of our own instruments (literally - all around the carpet!)

*Sang some songs

*Played with Cooper

*Lots of lazy days, hugs and kisses!

New Tubes

We were up bright (well actually it was still dark!) and early this morning, headed to the Outpatient Surgery Center to get new tubes. I love that it's done outpatient and we don't even have to go to the hospital. It's so nice to be in and out so quick. We checked in and only had to wait a few minutes before she was called back. She was still half asleep so she sat and loved on her daddy until we went back. They gave her some princess juice and we got to giggle at her for a little while once she got goofy. She was singing "E-I-E-I-Oooooh!!" at the top of her lungs! She did fine until they came to get her. I was hoping she'd be out of it enough not to care, but she was not happy. She went down the hall crying and screaming "momma"...not what I wanted to happen!

She was out of surgery in 15 minutes or so. It was so quick. Her left ear was still infected (surprise!) so we have to do drops for a few days, but the tube went in just fine. The tube in her right ear was about 2/3 of the way out already, so he went ahead and replaced it with a titanium one like in the left. Hopefully...fingers crossed...this is the last set we'll have to get!

She came out of the anesthesia much easier this time than any of the other times. She didn't cry or fuss - usually I hear her coming down the hall crying. I held her for awhile and she drank some juice then we got to go home. Since we are pros at this, they didn't make us stay that long or go through all the usual discharge stuff! I guess there's 1 plus to having to do this so many times!

She's been great since we've been home. She took two 2-hour naps, played outside a little, and even ate dinner outside. She's been happy and in a great mood.

Her request as I was rocking her tonight..."I wahn go the zoo, momma"! Looks like we'll be going back again soon!

Lions and Tigers and Bears...Oh My!

Molly Grace is getting her new ear tubes tomorrow morning, so we weren't able to take a trip for Spring Break. We decided to get up early this morning and take a trip to the zoo for the day. We have only taken MG once and it was last year when she wasn't really old enough to be interested in the animals. This year she was pumped! She's been talking about it since I mentioned it yesterday. All she talked about the whole way there was seeing the zoo and "muh-mees" (monkeys, ions, and eh-fents. She had a really good time and Jamey and I had a great time seeing it through her eyes and watching her excitement!

She loved the snakes - which terrifies me just a little! She liked seeing an elephant up close. She loved the lions and kept saying "see more, see more". She loved the monkeys. She tried talking to them, but they just didn't listen! The best part was when she said "I see muh-mees booty! Mama, see muh-mees booty?" Jamey had walked away a little, but she wanted to make sure he saw it too, so in her loudest voice she yells "Daddy, see muh-mees booty? Daddy...muh-mees booty!". I couldn't stop laughing, and neither could the people around us!

The splash park was a big hit with her again. She stripped down to her diaper and had a blast. I couldn't believe how brave she was, running all over the place! She's definitely a little water-bug. I finally had to go in after her and drag her out, kicking and screaming (literally!).

She picked out a little elephant in the gift shop on the way out and she held it close the whole way home. She passed out before we even got back on the road!

Things I Want To Remember

I've said this before, but my very favorite part of each day is right before bedtime when Molly Grace and I sit together in her room and rock. It's dark, it's quiet, it's peaceful. It's just me and my girl. We get to sing and talk. She makes me laugh. Then I get to just snuggle her for awhile.

As I was rocking tonight, I couldn't help but think how sad it will be one day when she's too old to rock. When she's 13 and doesn't want anything to do with me anymore, I want to remember exactly what it was like to hold her close in those few moments!

I want to remember...

The way her hair smells and feels so soft on my cheek

The sound of her soft breath through her tiny nose as she sucks away at those precious fingers

The soft pat of her hand on my arm

Her sweet voice singing "Jesus Loves Me" and the way she makes me make a Bible with my hands

Having to find her a string that's just right

Just the feel of her laying on my chest, snuggly and perfect

A Taste of My Own Medicine

MG dished it right back to me this morning! She's in this awful "mine" stage so I'm always telling her to "share".

This morning she wanted my phone and I wouldn't let her have it. She pointed her finger at me and said "share, momma, share". Wow! How do I argue with that?!

Funny Girl

There's no doubt that MG has a great little personality and sense of humor. The best part of it is, though, that she's the funniest when she doesn't even mean to be! I love the little things that come out of her mouth, but even more, I wish I could capture the sweet little voice she has! And the surprise and drama she uses. It's the best!

Jamey's been putting her in our bed when he goes to work this week since I can't lift her out of her crib. This morning I got up to fix her some milk and she kind of gasped and said "momma, no pans? where pans?". She couldn't believe I didn't have pants on!

We were laying in bed watching tv this morning (the best morning ever, by the way!) and they were playing basketball on tv. I said "Molly Grace, they're playing basketball like you. You play basketball, don't you?" Her response: "I nah baseetball, where baseetball go, I nah hab baseetball". She used the most pitiful, sad voice I've ever heard!

Tonight she stole my phone and was playing with it. I asked her to give it back and of course she didn't! She ran over and layed it on the couch by Jamey. A few minutes later she covered it up with her blanket, pointed her finger at me and said "no phone...you not get it now"! Little stink!

Finally Home Sweet Home!

I've never spent more than a night (once!) away from MG since she was in NICU. And even then we saw her every 4 hours! I am finally home after 3 nights away from her, though, and I feel like my heart is finally happy!

I've been having some gullbladder issues and ended up back in the ER Thursday morning. I woke up around 2am with the worst attack I've ever had. My parents came over and Jamey took me to the ER, but we turned around and came home because I started feeling better. I headed to work, but by 9:30 I was half-dead! I was encouraged to leave. I decided to head straight to the ER, which tells how bad I felt! Jamey was at work, so my mom and MG met me there. They got me back pretty quickly and Jamey came up to get MG. So it was just me and mom - and we sat in that little ER room for 7 hours! If I've never said it before, I have to say it now, I have an amazing mom! She talked with me and took care of me - even at 30 we just need our mommas sometimes!

They did another U/S and I still had gullstones. But my liver enzymes were way up which meant that I had a stone lodged in the duct between the gullbladder and liver. They admitted me that evening. Friday am I had a procedure done where they put me to sleep and went through my throat to get the stone out. It was 5mm in size! Saturday morning I had my gullbladder removed and finally this morning I got to come home!

My parents took MG home with them. It was so nice not having to worry a single second about her. She was happy, loved and taken care of. Which made it so much easier for me to rest and heal.

We're all finally back home together now, though, and even though I'm in pain, I've never felt better! She cried for me to rock her tonight, so I wrapped a blanket around my middle and told her she'd have to be really still. It was so worth the pain! I needed to hold my sweet girl after 3 nights away!

This Little Light of Mine

My child is such a creature of habit (wonder where she gets that from?! ha!)...every night we have very specific routine and it's very important that we stick to our specific "duties" or she has a fit! Ha! It's really funny, actually. Jamey fixes her milk while I get her jammies on. Jamey sits in the recliner with her while she drinks her milk and watches Dora (goodbye, Barney...hello, Dora!). Jamey carries her in the bedroom and hands her off to me, then I get to rock her. She loves to sing while we rock. If I don't start soon enough, she'll say "I wan sing"...then she tells me exactly what to sing!

Her very favorite these days is "This Little Light of Mine". But we don't sing the original version. One night I happened to switch it up a little and sing "when I play with friends, I'm gonna let it shine...", I started something that night! So now every night she tells me how to sing it and we have lots of verses!

She loves to sing about Heath and Jack (when I play with Heath, I'm gonna let it shine...)
We sing a lot about Granny and Pap (when I go to Granny's house, I'm gonna let it shine...)

When I play with friends...
When I ride in Momma/Granny/Daddy/Pap's car...
When I take a bath...
When I read my books...
When I play outside...

Tonight I cracked up because we had to sing "When I shop with Momma..."! Ha! She is my child!

Conversations

I have to say that I have loved every single moment with MG and I have loved every single stage, but this age/stage has to be the most amazing! I've seen her first smile, first giggle, learn to roll over, crawl and finally walk. I heard her first word and first phrase...but the talking these days is amazing! It's like every single morning she wakes up a little more "grown up". I love it and hate it! Ha! It is so fun, though, to have an actual conversation with my girl. I can ask her questions...and she answers!! If something hurts, she can tell me. That, in itself, is a miracle!

I don't know why, but it always seems like these things happen overnight. She just woke up one morning and was ready to speak in sentences! I'm afraid tomorrow she'll wake up ready to go to high school!

And the Academy Award for Most Dramatic Goes To...

Molly Grace! Ha! I don't know if it's the sickness, the meds or the looong night we had last night (I finally fell asleep close to 1am and MG was still squirming and coughing), but it has been meltdown after meltdown all afternoon and evening. If we looked at her wrong or breathed in her direction she was on the floor screaming (and I don't mean a little girly scream; I mean face red, tonsils showing, hurt your ears screaming!) and kicking. I'm just praying it's one of the things above and not part of her new personality!

Another Ear Infection...Surprised?

We paid a visit to "Sick Call" at our pediatrician's office this morning. One of us cried...and it wasn't MG! She's had this nasty, croupy cough; snotty nose; and high fever. Last night she started pulling at her ear saying "ear huht". She looked in her ear and said it was just "awful". Yeah, we hear that word a lot when it comes to her poor ears! The surprising part came when she looked in her throat and said "oh no!". She hasn't been eating or drinking much and now we know why. Her throat was read and infected, too. That's when I had to bite my lip to keep from breaking down in tears! Her lungs were pretty clear, but she has a tiny touch of the croup - just based on her cough and breathing. We're hoping, praying and crossing our fingers that the next 10 days of antibiotics can just get her through and keep her healthy until her tube surgery on the 5th. If she has a fever, her ears aren't clear or her lungs aren't clear, they'll postpone the surgery. Which is the last thing we need!

I know that I am 100% blessed and lucky that my child doesn't have cancer or some other awful disease. But at the same time, it's so frustrating to see your child sick so often. I'm so tired of hearing the word "awful" to describe her ears! Just once I want someone to look in there and say, looks great! I hate having to keep her little body on antibiotics all the time. I can't even count how many antibiotics she's had just so far in 2012, much less how many she's had in her little lifetime. By the time she's 12, she'll be immuned to every one of them - like her momma!

The silver lining to this is that MG and I got to have a lazy day at home! When we got home from the dr and picking up her medicine, I asked if she wanted to lay on her couch or sit in daddy's chair and watch Dora. Her answer..."Momma's bed". That's how I knew she felt bad! We laid in my bed snuggled up watching tv, she ate lunch in bed, then we turned the tv off and she went right to sleep...for 4 hours!

She woke up feeling better - but super clingy and cranky. She did finally eat, though. I made chicken and dumplings hoping they'd feel good on her throat. We laughed all through dinner because she was hunkered over her bowl shoveling spoonfuls into her mouth! Then she turned the bowl up and drank the rest! That never happens - usually we have to bribe and play games to get her to eat!

I'm hoping she wakes up tomorrow feeling better. I have to go back to work tomorrow and it's so hard to leave her when she doesn't feel good!

There Were 5 In the Bed and the Little One Said...

"more, more!". Ha! I couldn't help but think of that little song when I was tucking MG in tonight. She is in her bed with:
1.)"Strings" - which is the scarf she carries around and sucks on the strings
2.)4 blankets (one we call "bwankie" and one we call "cubbers")
3.)Fluffy the dog
4.)Pink "Bear"
5.)"Baby" which is a stuffed cat wearing a diaper and sucking a passy - she was mine when I was little and MG found her the other day at Mom's and now loves her!
6.)Dora - because now not only does MG love her own hair to suck on, but Dora's hair is "mmmm nummy"!

Tubes again...seriously?!

Yep...seriously! MG had her follow-up at the ENT today since she finished her antibiotic. Honestly, I expected to go in and hear that everything was great and walk out with a smile! Yeah, not so much! Evidently, the tube in her left ear tube was pushed out by the major infection she had. It's sitting in her ear canal just floating around. She JUST had tubes not even 3 months ago!! WTHeck?! He is going to put titanium tubes in this time. They have a better grip and are supposed to stay in longer. Fingers crossed!

I asked him when she should start outgrowing this. I expected him to say around 3...Ok, I HOPED he'd say around 3! Nope, evidently, kids hit the peaks at either 2 or 5. We obviously missed the 2 year old peak, so we just have to hold on another 3 years! Can't wait!

On the plus side, she was the best little girl while we were there! She played in the waiting room, followed the nurse back to the room, talked to the nurse and doctor, sat in the chair like a big girl and let the dr. check her ears, colored while we waited...then acted like a little monkey while I checked out! ha! I guess she held it in as long as she could!