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Today was such a good pregnancy day! I feel so good! I only had a little but of nausea this morning. And other than being tired, I've felt like a million bucks!

We are getting ready to take our family vacation to Gatlinburg. I can't wait to be back over there. If you've never been , you really need to go. It's so beautiful and relaxing. I can't wait for a whole week with my family in the most beautiful place on Earth! I can, however, wait for that drive!

Happy Father's Day!!

Happy Father's Day to a wonderful Daddy-to-be! How lucky I am to be having a child with such a wonderful man. You are a wonderful husband and friend so I know you'll be such a sweet daddy!

What a wonderful weekend it's been! Yesterday we broke the news to my parents and my sister and her family. It was great! For my dad's gift we got him a t-shirt that said "Pap's Fan Club...#1 Josh #2 Caleb #3...Coming Soon!

It took them a minute. I finally said 'what does number 3 say'. Then all I remember is a bunch of screaming and being tackled! lol It was really great!

Today we told my in-laws. My mother and father-in-law got to hear first. We gave them an ultrasound picture in a frame. They both looked at it kind of funny and my MIL said "what does it say?" I said "it says Baby Thornton". Then it clicked! They were beside themselves! Later in the day we got to tell my brother-in-law and sister-in-laws. Very casually Jamey said "so in 7 1/2 months there will be another one to play with". And again with the squeals and hugs!

There is no doubt that this little miracle is and will be very loved. We are so blessed with such wonderful parents and siblings. We both come from such loving, close families. We are truly blessed - our cups definitely runneth over!

Best Day of My Life!

So I'm pretty sure today qualifies as the best day of my life! I am 5 weeks, 6 days pregnant today. We got to see our little peanut today and even got to see a tiny flutter of a heartbeat!! It was wonderful! Our dr. said everything looks good, I'm right on track and my due date is February 12! The perfect little Valentine!

I go back again in 4 weeks just for a check up. I won't get to have another ultrasound until around week 20. My insurance only pays for 2 - which stinks - but that's ok! I'm on cloud 9 right now, regardless!

Today's the Day!

It's finally here!! Ultrasound day! I thought it would never come. I didn't sleep at all last night and have been up since 6:00 this morning! I'm just too excited and anxious to sleep. I'm hoping and praying we get to see that sweet little heartbeat today. I think that would give me some major comfort. I read that the chance of a miscarriage drops to 4% once you've seen the heartbeat. Now I just need to entertain myself for the next 6 hours!

Is Time Standing Still?

These days could not go by any slower! I guess it's all the anticipation coming up. Tomorrow is our first ultrasound and OB appointment. I get to finally find out exactly how far along I am, find out my due date and see our little Peanut! I CANNOT wait for that! I've been a little worried lately because I really don't have any symptoms. I guess I should really just count myself blessed, but it's a little worriesome, too. I feel like if I have symptoms then I know she's in there safe!

Not only and I looking forward to tomorrow's appointment, but I can't wait until this weekend. Saturday we are finally telling my family and Sunday we are going to Calico Rock to tell Jamey's family. It's been so tough keeping this from them! But we really wanted to tell them in a fun way, not just blurt it out like I've been so tempted to do lately!

And the final anticipation is next weekend. We are finally going back to Gatlinburg. That's such a special place for us. My family has been going just about every summer since I was 5. We stay in the same place every year! It holds so many special family memories (and here come the pregnancy harmones!). Jamey and I even got engaged there! Last year when we went I was convinced that we were going to get pregnant while we were there. Well, obviously we didn't! But this year I will be pregnant when we go and next year we will be taking our 5 month old for his/her first trip! It's so exciting!

So, I've been doing everything I can to make time fly by, but it's just not working!

How far along? almost 6 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: -10 lbs
Maternity clothes? No! I'm putting that off for as long as I can! I am super bloated though so loose dresses are my new friend!
Stretch marks? No!
Sleep: I have insomnia for a couple nights then sleep like a rock for a night. Then it all starts over again!
Best moment this week: Seeing how excited Jamey gets!
Movement: Not for a long time - can't wait for it, though!
Food cravings: watermelon and PB&J sandwiches
Gender: I just know it's a girl!
Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In
What I miss: Nothing! I love everything about being pregnant after 2 years trying!
What I am looking forward to: Our first U/S and appt. tomorrow! Can't wait to see our little peanut!
Weekly Wisdom: Shopping is not a good way to pass the time! It costs too much! :-)

Nothing new happening today. Still VERY tired!! I had a little bit of cramping today, but I think it had more to do with the Taco Bell we ate for dinner last night! I'm not as bloated today - which is awesome! I woke up frantic this morning because I realized I hadn't gotten up in the middle of the night to pee like I have been. I wonder when every little pain and every little thing will stop scaring me? Probably not until I'm finally holding my sweet little miracle in my arms! And then it will just be a whole new world of scares and worries! Mommyhood is already not easy! But I'm loving every minute of it!

I did finally tell someone today! And it felt so good. I've been just waiting to be able to tell our story and give God all the glory He deserves for giving us our miracle. I went to a workshop this morning with some ladies from work. A good friend of mine who has been there for me through all our IF rode with me. We made it all morning with no questions, but as I was dropping her off, she said "so where are yall, what have you decided to do next?". I just couldn't lie to her! I can withhold information (even though it's killing me!), but I could not lie. I looked at her and said "ok don't tell anyone, but I'm 5 weeks pregnant!". Her reaction was priceless. It was just what I needed! I'm so glad to have a woman friend I can confide in. She just had her first in December so she understands the fears and worries I'm having right now. Terri, I'm so thankful for your friendship and your support through it all! Our miracles will be 14 months apart, but I know they'll be life-long friends!

Music to my Ears

I had my 2nd HCG level done this morning. It was a "Stat" order and Monday I heard back from the nurse within an hour. After I left the lab I went shopping to keep my mind busy. I've just had this nagging fear that I couldn't get rid of and I didn't want to sit home and think. So after an hour I didn't hear anything and started freaking out. I kept thinking it must be bad news and the sweet nurse just didn't want to tell me! It's crazy the things your mind will come up with when you're worried! I did finally hear from the nurse, though, and the news was music to my ears. My level had more than doubled!!! I don't even know the exact number because all I heard was 'more than doubled'! I was in a store shopping with my mom so I had to walk away from her since she doesn't know yet (sorry, mom!). I can't wait to tell everyone!

My first Ultrasound and OB appt. are June 18th at 1:30. That's only a week from tomorrow. I am more excited than I can even put into words! The next 7 days are going to drag by. I just can't wait to hear little Peanut's heartbeat and know she's really in there (and yes I know I keep saying 'she' - I just have this feeling...)! I am also excited since we will have an actual US picture to show everyone when we spill our good news on Saturday and Sunday!!

Our God is an AWESOME God!

Wow! I can't even believe I'm going to type the following words...I'M PREGNANT!!! It seems to surreal to me right now. We found out Saturday, June 6, 2009. Just 3 days ago. And wow how our world has changed in those 3 days! I guess I should start back at the beginning....

I married my soulmate and my best friend, on May 22, 2004. Five happy years ago. 3 years ago we decided we wanted to be parents. Looking back now, I know we weren't ready. It's a good thing God knows us better than we know ourselves! We tried for a little over a year and nothing happened. So to the dr. I went. He suggested we try a 'schedule' for a few more months and see what happened. Again, nothing happened. So May 2008 we went back. We went through some testing and our doctor decided IUIs (interuterine insemination) was our best route. We had IUIs the next 4 months - 2 on Clomid, 2 not - with no results. I won't go into details, but the care we were receiving from that doctor wasn't what we needed. So October 2007 we switched doctors. Our new doctor was a wonderful, caring man. He listened and knew exactly what to do for me. I had surgery 2 weeks later! As it turns out, I had endometriosis and cysts covering my ovaries. There was a huge polyp on my cervix. Both ovaries were doubled in size, flat as pancakes and suctioned to the back of me. I was not in good shape. But after surgery, I was good to go! I went on Femara and Metformin to help me ovulate and Jamey went on Clomid - just for extra good chances! We tried for 6 more months with no results. I have to say that I went through a really dark period. I was eaten up with bitterness and resentment. I hated everyone who was pregnant! They had what I so badly wanted. I didn't understand why every crackhead on the street could get pregnant and I couldn't!

Looking back now, I can see that God used my infertility to draw me closer to Him. And it worked. I finally got to a point so low that there was nowhere to go but up. As Beth Moore calls it, I was in a pit. And God was the only one who could pull me out. And you know what? He did! His grace and mercy never ceases to amaze me.

In May, I decided I had had enough. I wanted a break from infertility. I was tired of it dictating my life. So I went off my medicines, I didn't chart my temperature, I didnt' even keep up with my cycle days. I told God that I was done - it was in His hands! I think sometimes He's just waiting for us to realize we can't do it on our own. We need Him. But He can only be there for us if we let Him.

So now onto the good part! I was busy packing up my classroom the last week of May/first week of June. I was really busy and not really paying attention to my body. My nurse said my progesterone level was way too low so I didn't even think I ovulated. There was no way I was pregnant! I was having this weird scent problem, though. Everywhere I went it smelled really bad! I was convinced there was something dead in my room one day, but never found anything. I kept telling Jamey his feet stunk! One day I swore there was a skunk somewhere around our house. I was the only one smelling these things, though! I also had a couple days where I felt really lightheaded and a little nauseous. But they had just upped my Metformin so I thought my body was just adjusting.

On Saturday, June 6, I realized I was 2 days late -- never happens to me! But I figured it was because I didn't ovulate. My inlaws and my niece were here visiting and everyone was already up and in the living room when I got up. I had 1 pregnancy test left over in the bathroom and decided to take it that morning just for kicks! I laid the test down and by the time I could glance at it again, there were 2 lines!! 2 lines!! I couldn't believe my eyes. I just started crying and praising God. I didn't know what to do!! Keep in mind we had been trying for 3 LONG years. I was shocked! The one month I didn't take meds, didn't 'try', I was pregnant! So of course after 3 long years I had come up with the perfect way to surprise my husband with our pregnancy. But that didn't seem important at all. As I was pacing in the bathroom wishing we didn't have a house full of company, my husband comes in the bedroom to see if I want to go eat breakfast with everyone. He told me later that when he saw my face he was scared to death. He assumed I had found out I wasn't pregnant again and wanted him to ask his parents to go home! Little did he know! I motioned him in the bathroom - because I couldn't get any words out - and handed him the pregnancy test. He just stared at it for the longest time, then looked at me and smiled the sweetest smile I've ever seen. We just hugged eachother for the longest time! From Saturday to Monday I took 6 pregnancy tests! I guess after seeing negatives for 3 years I had some obsession with seeing that positive!

Let me just tell you that the hardest thing is knowing we were pregnant after 3 years and not being able to tell anyone! I wanted so badly to tell my mom and my sister first thing. But we decided to wait until we knew a little more and were further into the safe zone.

I went Monday and had my HCG drawn. My level was 156 which my nurse said was well within normal range and that I was in fact pregnant. I was in JC Penney when I got the call and I just started crying right there in the store. I know I was getting some funny stares!

So...I'm writing this before I have even told anyone! We decided to save our good news until Father's Day weekend. So after that I will give this site address to all our friends and family!

Tomorrow I go back for another HCG level. My levels should have doubled. Hopefully that's what we'll find out. I have to admit that right now I'm really scared. We've tried so long for this little miracle (which we are calling our Peanut right now!) that I just want to know everything's OK!

Good night for now!