The Journey Began...

this time last year! I still remember the feeling of sheer panic, shock and disbelief as my water broke. I was sitting in our computer room looking up baby stuff and making a list of things we would need when our baby came 7 weeks later. I just sat there for a minute thinking "what just happened?". I remember walking in, looking at my husband and saying "uh...uh...I think maybe my water broke". To this day we are both still amazed at how calm I was. Then the panic set in. Jamey kept telling me it was OK, and I kept telling him it was NOT ok because I was only 33 weeks along - I hadn't even made it to the part in my What to Expect... book about delivering! Serioulsly, that's what was going through my mind! We hadn't even made it to birthing class yet.

We called my doctor, and he wanted to meet us at the hospital right away. I remember how long the walk do the elevator and up to the 5th floor was. Especially since the contractions had started. Then I had to stand there, in the midst of contracting, and answer questions and fill out paper work. Obviously the nurse who was putting me through this tortue had not been in labor before!

They took me back to a triage room, hooked me up to machines, and checked me out. We found out my water had in fact broken and I was dilated to 2 already. The nurse then told me that my dr. was going to want to send me to either Memphis or Little Rock. My world crumbled and it was at that point that I fell apart. I will never forget how sweet the nurse was, though. She took my hand and told me how my baby was going to be fine - that we were lucky she was a girl, girls are strong - and that there was absolutely nothing I could've done differently to prevent this.

Here I was, 7 months pregnant with a baby I had waited 5 long years for, in premature labor. All I could think was "Lord, hasn't our journey been difficult enough?". We were not prepared. We hadn't even finished the nursery. We had no coming home outfit. We had no bag packed. It's funny because you'd think after 5 years of trying so hard for a baby I would've been emotionally ready, but I was still terrified!

My doctor came in and gave me the choice - Memphis or Little Rock. He said he could deliver a 33 weeker no problem, he could deliver a 23 weeker, but it would be safer to be in one of the bigger hospitals with a higher level NICU and Neonatologists. We chose Memphis, we knew our way around a lot better there and it was closer - I had to ride in an ambulance and I wasn't sure I would make the ride all the way to Little Rock!

So off we went. They strapped me in, loaded me up and we were off on a journey I'd never forget!

That was our night a year ago...as for tonight, my poor little monkey is sick, hyped up on antibiotics and cold/cough meds and fighting sleep like a mad woman! We spent the morning at the pediatrician office. She's had this cough, snotty nose, a fussiness since Sunday. But this morning she woke up with a fever of 103.4. We gave her Motrin and it brought it down, but since she's been fighting the same double ear infections since November, I thought it was best to take her in. Good thing we did. Both ears are still infected and have lots of fluid on them and her lymph nodes were swollen really badly. Her ped is worried at this point (It's been almost 2 months) that it will start affecting her hearing and speech, so we're off the see the ENT as soon as they can get us in and we're more than likely looking at tubes. Not the news I wanted the day before her bday!

So now she's on her 4th antibiotic and we're praying it works.